Married. Pregnant. Husband wants a Divorce. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??

Let’s see…a quick update?

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I am now 8 1/2 months pregnant! Since my last post…a lot has happened and yeah none of it is really good. So back in January my husband of 2 1/2 years and I got into a pretty heated argument and he asked me to leave (things have been strained for a while and January 1st just happened to be the last straw). He didn’t just ask me to leave once, but several times…then continued to call me a WHORE the DEVIL, told me he didn’t even care what happened to me after I left (in front of his family). His family just stood by silently and watched, in fact his father asked me to wait in a different room so we wouldn’t fight. He even called my family in a different state and told them they needed to come get me, that he only PRETENDED TO LOVE ME, he WANTED A DIVORCE, and he wanted me to leave. That’s the short version. Our situation has been like a pot of water on slow simmer until it just overheated and exploded.

After listening to my husband rant and rave on and on for God knows how long, I wondered why the hell would I stay? He basically asked me to leave in front of his father and sister  and said he’d forget all about me in a few days…any attempts for his family to make him stop? NO! They allowed him to continue his rant, when I saw how his father handled the situation, I knew in my heart it was time for me to leave. I BOOKED A HOTEL, CALLED A CAB, AND LEFT. I took of my necklace with THALI still attached and handed it to his father, of course he refused to accept it…I LEFT it on the stand. What reason do I have to stay when he can just stand by and watch his son say all those things to me and not say one thing?

I ended up staying in a hotel overnight before my mom could come get me. The things that went through my mind that night….I can’t even begin to write about. I don’t believe in my heart that I CAN EVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT. I flew back with my mom to another state and have been living with my parents since then. I called his father and asked how we could resolve the situation with the car…brand new car, of course the loan is in my name, payments coming out of my account, and he’s driving the car! Makes sense,  right? I told him its not right that I’m 6 1/2 months pregnant without a job and have to deal with this. His father’s response? Oh, if it’s in your name, no one is holding the car, you are welcome to come get it and whatever is in the apartment.

Later on, ,my family notified his father that we were coming to take the car, father was agreeable. Then he has the nerve to ask how are we moving forward? My mother replied that his son had already made a decision and notified us of that. He then hands his son the phone who asks my mother the same question and my mom replies the same way….I believe he was surprised that my mom didn’t back down and instead reminded him of his decision and my husband replies with…”that’s the past, let’s talk about now”. Seriously? He informed my mom that I could come get the car the same night if I wanted and that he can either FILE FOR DIVORCE WHERE HE WAS OR WE COULD, he then continued to say he is ready to support his baby for the rest of her life…ITS UP TO US, LET HIM NOW.

So,  from this conversation I SHOULD UNDERSTAND that he loves me, loves our baby, wants to work things out, and that this is all a misunderstanding, right? It’s hard enough to hear your husband spew out all these lovely things on a normal day, but 6 1/2 months PREGNANT…when you are all FULL OF CRAZY HORMONES, experiencing all the lovely symptoms that come with pregnancy, and have a husband that is so sweet to you for months….it’s enough to give you a panic attack.

My friend and I flew down there, fit as much of my stuff as I could in the car and drove it back. As soon as I get there, I was met by his dad who informed me he couldn’t stay because there was an emergency. When I saw him acting strange, I asked if everything was OK and after asking several times and him saying it didn’t matter anymore,  he informed me that my husband is ADMITTED IN THE HOSPITAL WITH CHEST PAIN. I couldn’t believe it! Now, I’m PISSED, WORRIED, SAD, REGRETFUL….FREAKING THE HELL OUT. I call my family and ask if I should go to the hospital and they say NO! My friend said I shouldn’t get involved in their BS and I should mind my own business because WHAT THE HELL AM I TRYING OT ACCOMPLISHING BY GOING? I dunno what I thought to accomplish.

Although I was distracted, I continued to back and saw his brother in law as I was walking to the car. He told me to leave the key behind and the parking pass….I asked what would I do with it if I took it?! Really? I asked if my husband was OK and he replied he didn’t know, he just came from work and was on his way to the hospital. I told him it wasn’t a good idea for me to go see him in the hospital and he agreed. I asked if he could just let me know how he is. My husband’s brother in law responds with, “IT’S NOT LIKE YOU ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE.. HE HAS HIS PARENTS TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND YOU HAVE YOUR PARENTS TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. YOU BOTH MADE THE DECISION TO GET DIVORCED, THERE IS NO NEED TO ASK HOW HE IS NOW. The only thing left is TO DECIDE IF WE FILE FOR DIVORCE FROM HERE OR IF YOU FILE FROM THERE. I couldn’t believe my ears or know how to react? FIRST, I never asked for a divorce…he asked me to leave several times…even in front of his family…he called my family and asked them to get me. SECOND, even after no contact for a month and a half, I still had half a heart to see how he was. THIRD, he never even sent one text asking if I had a doctor, insurance, or even got my ultrasound or blood work. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN!! Forget about me, because I’m just the most evil thing on earth, but what about you pretending to care about your on child????

I continued to call him several times from the car and he informed me it was not necessary for me to continue calling him to inquire about his well being? Finally he said he is being discharged home. In the mean time I called his sister and dad twice…no answer. I even got desperate with worry and called him twice…no answer and finally decided to let it me and and just sent him a text saying I tried to find out how he was doing and that I hope he was OK.

Just someone…anyone please explain one thing to me.. Why show up at the apartment and inform me that my husband was taken to the hospital in an AMBULANCE if you won’t give me any other information? How is it he loses his mind and snaps and kicks me out and I’m the jerk in all this? No matter how much of an awful person I am…does the fact that I’m pregnant with his child mean nothing to him? I’m so confused……

 

 

 

A little about me….

  • I’m a 30 something mallu who grew up in the U.S…I work in the medical field and I’m marriedish? Marriedish? Yes that’s my word for a state of confusion, an uncertainty about where your marriage is heading…a state of conflict with chance of reconciliation or a growing distance and wedge that results in a final ending? That is the state of my life presently… Btw I’m also 7 months pregnant with my first child and not on speaking terms with my husband and was asked to leave…I’m hours away from him now. So yes I’m marriedish…hopefully this term will have a more definite meaning soon? I started this blog as a medium to get out my frustrations, talk about the things that are causing me a great deal of sadness, and hopefully gain some insight about myself and my life and maybe some good advice?